iDios Mio! Es el Diablo...TWO!

Howdy all you MMORPGers, RPGers, and people with enough sense to appreciate a good game session. I was thinking about something the other day whilst working twelve hour days painting for some god-awful reason. I really miss playing Diablo II. The great thing about it, I always thought, was that if you were sick of the moronic internet population, you could play the story offline. It was pretty much the same experience... except you wouldn't walk into a shiny red portal labeled COW at level 2, try to see what was going on and get GANG RAPED by 243875097 Bipedal cows with halberds nonchalantly moo-moomoomoomoo-moo-ing as they liquify your face. Ahhhh good times!

I usually have two character saves on rpgs, because I like to switch back-and-fourth between a melt-you-face-mage and a smashy-smashy barbarian. On D2 I played almost exclusively as a necromancer. (That's right...I'M the one who needs those bodies, not you!). There is something so satisfying about raising a legion of skeletal pals to help you do your bidding. Throw in a bone wall here or there, a decent gemmed bow, and enjoy not getting decapitated by your foes. Boss fights are a little harder, however, and require many potions and TPs to narrowly escape death...but what's the fun of a game without risk and thrill?

Granted this game came out some ten-or-so years ago, and the graphics are a little lacking, but it is still in my rotation of games to replay. I mean come on, it's in the 2000 Guinness Book of World Records for the fastest selling game. Also, the Battle Chest version containing Diablo, D2, and the expansion: Lord of Destruction, is still available in stores with a $30 price tag; some games just never die...especially a decent fantasy mmorpg without a monthly subscription.

A side-note: This is not a chapter of the seemingly ever-popular nostalgia theatre rantings, but rather a 'why not?' post about something I've been turning over in my head for the past few days. I love a game that can take you back to a specific memory and bring comfort to you while you are crouching, contorting, and sweating for the 11th consecutive hour of a minimum-wage paint job. Gee Willikers, being AFK sucks!

-GIB

Do a Barrel Roll(Z or R Twice): Nostalgia Theatre Vol. 2

Who doesn't like Star Fox? I bet Darth Marth will say he doesn't like Star Fox just to spite me.

Anyways, Star Fox 64 was the very first game that I got for my Nintendo 64 way back in the day. It was also the first game I felt truly proud to have beat all the way through, come to think of it that was the very first game I ever beat. And that's an experience I would never trade it for anything in the world.

Star Fox 64 also helped set the stage for what type of games I would go on to play. I am a huge fan of cheesy game plots (I'm looking at you Call of Duty) and I also like totally predictable twists, sure I like the occasional wow factor from a game that does something completely unexpected (lulz penises), but the majority of the time I'm not really looking for novel storytelling.  (Shadow of the Colossus being a huge exception) I tend to like the repetitive and mundane for the most part, especially now that I have a shit-ton of games and don't really have much time to play in-depth games like Oblivion which has been sitting on my hard drive for like 2 years. So it's nice to just pick up a game where the only activity you are doing is mashing the 'fire' button.

This epic piece 64-bit of fried gold is one of my all time favorite games even if the voice acting was horrible and to some the controls a little clunky. I don't care I loved every minute of it. I especially loved the underwater level where you end up having to blow the monster clam of doom. Or the dog fights you find yourself in with your nemesis Star Wolf, who really isn't a bad guy just kind of confused. Or the infamous Landmaster levels, there are just so many good times to be had in that game that it's almost not even funny. And when you finish the main campaign you can plug in your four controllers and play with some friends. (That is assuming you have some.)

If I had this game I think I would play it again, but alas it has been sacrificed for the greater good I think I may try find myself another copy so I can relive the glory days. And if you have never played this game well then you suck and you should go play it right now. Oh well such is life, well I hope you have enjoyed another installment of Nostalgia Theatre.

Don't ever give up, my son.
                                         toodlekittens

Nostalgia Theatre

Hello and welcome to the first ever episode of Nostalgia Theatre! This series brings you back to the glory days of old school videogames and brings back those wonderful memories.Tonight's episode features none other than......

That's right! Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time!!

This game was and is probably my most favorite game that I have ever played. I know that's extreme to say but this game absolutely never gets old. I swear I have beaten this game myself and with my best friend more times than I can count. (Now on to the good stuff!)

What first gets me about this game is how the 3D graphics never get old. and that's just the tip of the iceberg on this whimsical adventure. This game is so popular that Nintendo keeps reproducing and tweaking this game and people are still eating it right up! (Suck on that Saw and Final Fantasy! Bitches). They made a "Master Quest" version for the people who got sick of it being too easy and are now releasing it for the 3DS making it even better looking. (Top that Friday the 13th reboots!)

Now for those of you that have no clue what I'm ranting about here's the low down, you start off as a unique boy who is tasked with stopping a big bad guy. (Cliché I know). Then you meet the wonderful princess and have to get the epic sword called, "The Master Sword" which is a staple in almost all the Zelda games. After you finally get it you realize 7 years have passed but you can return to the original time by returning the Master Sword (I know it's trippy). Then you must awaken the 7 sages to access the evil Ganondorf's castle, (also the staple bad guy in the series), and finally take him down. Along the way you are aided by a fairy, learn about your past and collect awesome useful items to aid you (which is really what the Zelda games always make you do to succeed. Bastards).

Next up the dungeons in the game are ALL phenomenal! I don't care what you say Water Temple haters that shit still rules! My personal favorite would have to be the Forest Temple. Not too easy and not too hard and the final boss is so helpful that its the perfect temple. (Or maybe that is possibly all of them... not sure). What really made this game playable was that you could beat it any any skill or age level. I originally beat it on the Nintendo 64 at age 9 and it got easier from there.

Now there are a few aspects of the game that irritated people as I'm sure most of you have seen on the internet before. (I know I have. [AND I LOVE THEM!!]) Your fairy "friend" is of course obnoxious and annoying but honestly it's very helpful your first time through and the targeting system would be worthless and you'd be dead. Next there's that little 'ol Water Temple thing. Honestly people?! Get over yourselves that temple was definitely not that hard. Plus it had the greatest mini boss ever! Yourself! You can't beat that. (EVER! AHHH!) Finally we get to that goddamn owl. Seriously, fuck that guy. You'd sit there and mash B to make the dialog go faster but then youd get to the end and B would make him start over! ARGH. AND it's not like he had very relevant information because he'd try to tell you where to go. (Bitch I do what I want!)

All-in-all this game is a must play and I don't care how old you are; you must beat it! If you haven't even played it then you are either mentally handicapped (I would NEVER say retarded on the internet. It's so retarded! Think of a better word!) or dead. Or homeless. Or an infant. But that shouldn't matter! Go play it! Seriously! Get off the internet, and go play Ocarina of Time!

You're still here? That's it! Leave! I told you to go play!

That's all folks!

Darth

Cloudkicker

Greetings everybody. I’m sorry I haven’t finished the second post for MoH yet. I had to take my Xbox home in order to focus on my finals. Yup, I’m just that lame. Sorry folks, scholarships are a little more important than Xbox. (Don’t get me wrong, I wish I could put videogames at the top of my list).

But today, I’m doing a different kind of post (*GASP* NO!). Instead of rambling about my favorite video games, I’m going to talk about a new band I discovered recently. In case you forgot, it is video games and other vices. Emphasis on the other vices part. Well, music is a vice of mine, and if you try to tell me it’s not a vice of yours, I will punch you in your dome and call you a liar.

Anyways, violent threats aside, I’d like to talk about the band I discovered. Ironically, it was a Facebook sidebar advertisement for a group by the name of Cloudkicker, and their newest release, Beacons. I liked the name of the band, so I visited the page. As it turns out, the group Cloudkicker, is really just a one man band. Literally. This guy’s name is Ben Sharp and he is from Columbus, Ohio. He does all of the mastering on his own computer, and other than using drum-programming software he plays all of the other instruments. Because he does all of this himself, he actually has the vast majority of his music available for free on his website. Some of his newer releases he is selling, but he just asks for donations to keep cranking out his albums.

He currently has out two full-length cd’s: The Discovery and Beacons. He has out three EP’s: The Map Is Not The Territory, Portmanteau, and A New Heavenly Body. These are all available on his website, posted below. I really urge you to check it out if you are interested in instrumental progressive metal.

The reason why he has three EP’s instead of a few albums is because: “I prefer putting out shorter releases more frequently. I get bored listening to an hour of instrumental music, and this way I always have something relatively new out.”

He mainly comes up with his music from noodling around on the guitar, which is actually surprisingly effective. Since I play the cello, I noodle around on it for fun, and I’ve come up with some pretty catchy melodies. But, since I don’t really care enough to put in the effort, I’ve never written them down.

A few suggestions for songs are: “Push It Way Up!” “It’s Bad, We’re Hit, Man, We Are Hit” “Avalanche” or “Everything Mirrors.” These are the good songs that I can remember, but I’ve been impressed with his work. But what this man is doing (for mostly free too, since he has a full-time job) is amazing. So, be sure to give him a chance.

You can check out his website here:

http://cloudkicker.bandcamp.com/

And the interview here:

http://www.theinevitablenose.com/2010/02/interview-cloudkicker/

Until next time friends,

Killinglights