INDY!!!

Okay so here is something a little bit different, I was going to do a Captain's/Personal Log entries for Mass Effect but I haven't gotten a chance to play it yet, so instead I am going to do a post about my favorite archaeologist. First, let us start out with how I would rank the four Indiana Jones movies and then we can have it out.

1. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
2. Indian Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
3.Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
4. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

That's right mother fuckers I rank the Crystal Skull above both the Last Crusade and Raiders. Before you start hyperventilating and foaming at the mouth I know people hate on the Crystal Skull hardcore but I think that is unfair. Let us start out with why people hate the Crystal Skull so much and then we can move on to why that's bullshit and then the reasons I like it better than both Last Crusade and Raiders.

Who could say it better than that guy as to why people hate the Crystal Skull. I have heard and read some people nitpick on the action and the dialogue but the majority of the complaints are the aliens. Why is this unfair you may ask dear reader well have you seen any of the other three movies? Two of them prove the existence of God and Jesus and the third at the very least proves the existence of black magic (if not the existence of a third major deity) and suddenly aliens are outside the realm of possibilities. Really you are telling me that people will more easily believe in the Ark of the Covenant and the ghosty things inside of it that melt you skin or the Holy Grail the grants everlasting life or can heal any wound but aliens in South America are suddenly chopped liver. Look deep into your hearts and tell me how that is fair.

Also I think I should mention that I absolutely hate Shia Labeouf. I hate hims so much that there are only two movies in the whole fucking world I actually like him in: Crystal Skull and Constantine because he totally eats it. So for me to rank a movie with him in it pretty high in a list is a feat in of itself. But the real reason I rank Crystal Skull so high on the list of Indian Jones movies is simple; it's different same goes for Temple of Doom (well at least in part Short Round makes me giggle and is one of the few good children sidekicks). Temple of Doom and Crystal Skull both tackled legends that are outside the obvious Christian ones and they did them fantastically. In fact what was the last movie you watched that referenced the alien legends and theories of Central and South America, that's right you can't think of any because there are so few and Crystal Skull is one of the few well known ones. The reason that both the Christian themed movies are so low on the list are because they are Christian themed I mean the Holy Grail beat a dead horse why don't you. The Ark is slightly more interesting than the Holy Grail but is still has heavy Christian themes not that I have a problem with Christianity but it all has been done before.

I don't know maybe it's just me but I firmly believe that Crystal Skull did breathe new life into a classic movie franchise but fanboyism killed it in its tracks and that is a damn shame, a damn shame indeed.

Ab, uski jan meri mutti me hai!
toodlekittens

I'm Starving!

I've been playing a lot of this game called Don't Starve. The premise of the game is you essentially wake up in a forest where you realize you must survive. This is done by collecting wood, stone, grass, carrots, berries, and well, pretty much everything else you find. In this game you have to bars you must maintain. The first is the classic health bar, you gotta watch out for those baddies. And when I say watch out, just about everything can kill you without hesitation. Your health can be restored by eating flower petals to start. The second bar you must manage, as the game eludes to is your hunger bar. One last thing you will manage is time. There is a full day and night cycle that you go through. If you do not collect enough resources to create fire, the night will kill you. In fact, every night is a struggle to survive. So keep that in mind.

At first, you forage for your survival. Eventually, from what I can tell anyways, you can farm to sustain yourself. The game mainly consists of pointing and clicking on things to collect for your survival. What is really interesting about this game is the notion that it recognizes you will die. In fact, you will die a lot. When you die, you can actually go back into the world you have created and start over with one caveat. When you start back up, you have all of your tech trees unlocked. Therefore each play through you have to work less and less and get closer to seeing the late game of surviving.

I have been playing it quite a bit but I haven't actually gotten very far into it. The longest I have survived is four consecutive days. Which to start, I like to think isn't half bad. Anyways, I really suggest you guys check this game out. It's fun and each play through can be done in an hour or so. You can try the demo out on google chrome or just buy it for $15 on steam.

-Smi13y out

X-COM: Tales of the Iron Men

So today I have begun to play X-Com: Enemy Unknown. It is a great game that everyone should try, even if you despise the turn based RTS genre. The reason I am writing today is because I am going to begin a game journal of my adventures within the game. I will be writing about our missions using names of my friends. I am playing on iron man mode which means, it essentially auto saves after every turn, making all actions permanent. To make this more interesting, I will be naming all of the soldiers I use after friends. If you want your name on the list, please list your name below and a preferred class (Assault, Heavy, Support, Sniper, or Psionic when I get to that point). I will do my best to keep each and everyone of you alive, but needless to say people are going to die. If a character dies I will list below their statistics and information on the player.

Entry 1: March 1st, 2015

Today we were dropped in an area that seems to be overridden with the alien scum. We had landed in front of a convenience store that was quiet, too quiet. I took point and went left around to the back door alongside another rookie. I didn't catch his name, but I don't feel it will be important if he were to die today. Private Kolk went straight to clear the gas pumps with Moreau.

Then we heard clicking and freakishly strange noises. As we approached the back door, the sounds of plasma bolts shattered the still night. Kolk and Valerie were underfire. A brief firefight had broken out. After a couple of minutes, it went quiet. Kolk shouted, "All clear! Two hostiles have been dropped to the ground"

Good, they survived, now we could get inside this store. I commanded, "On the count of three, one.... two..."

Gunshots rang through the air. Kolk and Valerie spotted the aliens inside and busted through the front door. The rookie and I busted through and opened fire as well. Bullets once again flew through the air. Beside me, the rookie took a plasma shot to the leg and fell. Kolk took shot to arm and screamed in pain as he hid behind the counter. I fired my rifle at the grey bastards and one hit the floor. Moreau emerged from cover and shot wildly into the air. Then it was quiet. The hostiles were eliminated. Writhing in pain the rookie, who I learned was named Bernard Schulz, slowly limped to the airship with a blank face.  Moreau was now checking on Kolk as he slowly got up. I quietly walked over to her and gave her the nod as we walked with Kolk back to the dropzone.

After briefing, Kolk, Moreau, and I were promoted to "Squaddie." Ironically, Kolk took it upon himself to become the teams medic after he got patched up in the medical bay. Moreau thought she would like to take point from now on. As for myself, I took up the sniper rifle. Schulz didn't receive a promotion. Now that I think of it, he barely even fired his rifle. I hope for his sake, he gets his shit together. Otherwise next time, we'll be bringing him back in a body bag.

Roster:

Anthony Langley: Squaddie, Sniper, 1 Mission, 1 Kill
Michael Kolk: Squaddie, Support, 1 Mission, 2 Kills (Wounded for 7 Days)
Valerie Moreau: Squaddie, Assault, 1 Mission, 1 Kill
Bernard Schulz: Recruit, n/a, 1 Mission, 0 Kills (Wounded for 7 Days)