Nostalgia Theatre

Hello and welcome to the first ever episode of Nostalgia Theatre! This series brings you back to the glory days of old school videogames and brings back those wonderful memories.Tonight's episode features none other than......

That's right! Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time!!

This game was and is probably my most favorite game that I have ever played. I know that's extreme to say but this game absolutely never gets old. I swear I have beaten this game myself and with my best friend more times than I can count. (Now on to the good stuff!)

What first gets me about this game is how the 3D graphics never get old. and that's just the tip of the iceberg on this whimsical adventure. This game is so popular that Nintendo keeps reproducing and tweaking this game and people are still eating it right up! (Suck on that Saw and Final Fantasy! Bitches). They made a "Master Quest" version for the people who got sick of it being too easy and are now releasing it for the 3DS making it even better looking. (Top that Friday the 13th reboots!)

Now for those of you that have no clue what I'm ranting about here's the low down, you start off as a unique boy who is tasked with stopping a big bad guy. (Cliché I know). Then you meet the wonderful princess and have to get the epic sword called, "The Master Sword" which is a staple in almost all the Zelda games. After you finally get it you realize 7 years have passed but you can return to the original time by returning the Master Sword (I know it's trippy). Then you must awaken the 7 sages to access the evil Ganondorf's castle, (also the staple bad guy in the series), and finally take him down. Along the way you are aided by a fairy, learn about your past and collect awesome useful items to aid you (which is really what the Zelda games always make you do to succeed. Bastards).

Next up the dungeons in the game are ALL phenomenal! I don't care what you say Water Temple haters that shit still rules! My personal favorite would have to be the Forest Temple. Not too easy and not too hard and the final boss is so helpful that its the perfect temple. (Or maybe that is possibly all of them... not sure). What really made this game playable was that you could beat it any any skill or age level. I originally beat it on the Nintendo 64 at age 9 and it got easier from there.

Now there are a few aspects of the game that irritated people as I'm sure most of you have seen on the internet before. (I know I have. [AND I LOVE THEM!!]) Your fairy "friend" is of course obnoxious and annoying but honestly it's very helpful your first time through and the targeting system would be worthless and you'd be dead. Next there's that little 'ol Water Temple thing. Honestly people?! Get over yourselves that temple was definitely not that hard. Plus it had the greatest mini boss ever! Yourself! You can't beat that. (EVER! AHHH!) Finally we get to that goddamn owl. Seriously, fuck that guy. You'd sit there and mash B to make the dialog go faster but then youd get to the end and B would make him start over! ARGH. AND it's not like he had very relevant information because he'd try to tell you where to go. (Bitch I do what I want!)

All-in-all this game is a must play and I don't care how old you are; you must beat it! If you haven't even played it then you are either mentally handicapped (I would NEVER say retarded on the internet. It's so retarded! Think of a better word!) or dead. Or homeless. Or an infant. But that shouldn't matter! Go play it! Seriously! Get off the internet, and go play Ocarina of Time!

You're still here? That's it! Leave! I told you to go play!

That's all folks!

Darth