BRAAAAIIINNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Hi guys! I'm Nerdicus Chubbicus here with a guest post for you guys!

Since I'll be back, I'll give a brief intro.

I'm killinglights and Darth Marth's little bro. I've been an avid gamer since kindergarten with my N64. aaawwww yyyeeaaahhhhh.

I love rpg's and more recently, fps's. And Pokémon. Lotttsss of Pokémon. I caught all 490 on Diamond. Suck it.

Favorite game? Ocarina of Time. I beat it in less than a week. :D

Anyways....

Everyone hates zombies. They eat your brains, and just won’t die. I hate zombies, too. I have wasted countless hours of my life perfecting the art of zombie-killing. …with a controller.

Ever since killinglights showed me the wonders of Black Ops, I have wanted to play that ‘mysterious’ third game mode, Zombies. Finally, we played Kino Der Toten one day, and I was hooked. It was up there on the awesome list with bacon and Magikarp (haters gonna hate).

The idea is that you defend yourself against countless waves of zombies. (Nazi zombies, as if they weren’t bad enough. Only way it could be worse is if they were gay, rapist, Nazi zombies. “I want your brains, and your penis”) You only have a meager M1911 pistol, a knife, and your wits. However, as you gain points from killing zombies, you can buy better weapons, such as the M16 assault rifle and the AK-74u submachine gun. You open up doors, and eventually reach the POWER. (Why is there no power?) After you do this, it gets REAL. You can open the Mystery Box, which gives you a random weapon (C’mon, Galil!) OR it flies off, leaving you screwed. You can buy perks, such as Jugger-nog, which gives you more health. And finally, and most fun, you can PACK-A-PUNCH!!!!!!!!! When you Pack-a-Punch, you deposit a gun into the machine, crack your knuckles, and get a new, more powerful version of the gun. What would you rather have, the FN FAL, or the EPC WN?

I enjoy Zombies, but boy is it frustrating. However, the tension is relieved by the dialogue from the characters, and the relaxing feeling of watching a zombies head/limb explode into tiny little bits. No more hailing Hitler for YOU! A personal favorite quote is, “He can’t fight now. He’s been… disarmed. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” (See why I love the characters?)

All in all, I would recommend Zombies to anyone good at CoD. It requires much skill, but everything in Blops does. (ahem veterancampaign ahem) but it is rewarding if you do it right. Now then- OH $^&*$%^&^ THE ZOMBIES ARE IN !#&@^&@%^ #%@^*^$&*@ GOD NO #^3$&%#$- (An average match.)

Don’t let the Gay Zombies eat your brains OR your penis,

Nerdicus Chubbicus

Nostalgia Theatre - Vol. III

Hey folks, sorry it's been so long since we've updated. Life gets busy....anyways, here is our latest post. Enjoy.

But, as my dear friend Toodlekittens said, this seems to be a popular theme at the moment. So, let it commence.

I’d like to talk about a more serious problem our nation faces. The problem is enslavement of animals, forcing them to fight until the other is knocked unconscious by the brute force of another. These poor creatures have done nothing wrong, yet we enslave them and keep them for our own sick, personal amusement. We never think about their well being, or how they feel about the way we treat them. They seemed to get along quite well before we came around and started hacking and slashing at trees to get to places we felt like going, riding our bikes through the grass trampling helpless creatures, while others attack in fear. We easily bat them aside as though they are nothing, and we praise our slaves, as they get stronger. For what gains?! So we can become the Pokémon Master of course.

As you may have gathered by now (I’d be really really really really scared and slightly saddened if you didn’t), I am talking about the one and only: Pokémon. More specifically I’m referring to the first generation of the games: Red, Blue and Yellow versions. Yes, I understand Pokémon is still going strong (look at the sales, Pokémon are the best selling games for the Nintendo DS.) I won’t lie. I am a proud owner of Pokémon’s Pearl, HeartGold and White Version. I’m still working on HeartGold. I love it. I beat Pearl all the way through, and I almost collected all of the Pokémon. w00t. But I started White version when I first got it, but I think I’ll just start over when I go back to it, since I was/am still involved with HeartGold and didn’t care or pay much attention to what I was doing. It’s harder with all these damn new Pokémon. Granted, some of them are really badass. lulz

However, I have to do a shout out to the original games. These two games, Red and Blue versions, paved the way for the special Yellow version, where the player got to control a pikachu! PIKACHU! Everybody loves Pikachu. I played Red version (countless times) and I liked picking up Pikachu from the Viridian Forest. It always took a billion years and 485,203,309,392,203 steps to find one, but holy crap was it worth it. See, if I had started with Bulbasaur or Squirtle, I wouldn’t have cared. But no, I picked the hardest starter to play the game with. The one and only starter for me, who remains my favorite to this day, Charmander. I mean, what’s not to love about the little guy? He was a fricken lizard that could breathe fire, and his tail was on fire. He was adorable. Besides, Charizard looks super epic anyways. …Not to mention the fact that he’s beefy as hell. You’ve got a Lapras? HA! I laugh at you! Using his superior speed and uber special (yeah…just special. None of this silly special attack and special defense. Special. Aww yeah.), I fire blast the shit out of you! Although it may have just relied upon his attack. I dunno. But it doesn’t matter. He was amazing. I remember my first Charizard. I got him up to level 72 (yeah, I know that’s weak. And he knew cut. But he was still amazing) and I traded him over to my brothers Silver Version, and he got him up to level 86. :D But his name was Zippo. He was awesome. Ah, the memories. I’m feeling slightly…nostalgic. Haha

However, happy memories aside, I will delve into the meat of this article. Gameplay.

When you really think about it, this game was a little morbid, disturbing and condoning cruelty of animals… Here, look at it this way. As I stated earlier, you’re a ten year old boy (or girl in later generations. Silly people, women can’t be pokemon masters…) running around enslaving these Pokémon in these tiny little balls and when the time comes, you unleash them to do your bidding and fight until yours or your opponents Pokémon is knocked unconscious. It’s brutal, violent, inhumane, barbaric, and incredibly addicting. I guess we thoroughly enjoy pitting these Pokémon against one another in epic duels.

But anyways, back to the game. You got to choose one of the three starters, Fire, Water or Grass. Then you travel from town to town finding new Pokémon, training them and seeing how you match up to the gym leaders of each town. The main goal was to get all the way to the Elite Four, and beat the champion, your rival, and be totally awesome. Poor Blue/Red (…your rival…the opposite color of your game...for the uneducated…heh)

But man on man, this brings me back to the good old days. The original 150 Pokémon were easily the greatest ones in existence, no contest. Generation II was pretty good too, but not as good as the first. They were so…original. …oddly enough. But I really enjoyed being able to clone my items using the missingno trick we’ve all come to know and love…and exploit. …shamelessly. A billion master balls? Okay! A billion ‘roids? Okay! Ahh…good times.

Like all good games, there has to be some conspiracy theories. However, I’m out of time, and will be sure to discuss these in my next post.

But anyways, enough rambling from me. Until next time, friends.

Pokémon nerds for life. *fist bump

Killinglights