Hey everybody! Killinglights here with his own post (not a guest....) on such a (post) joyus day. As far as I'm concerned, it still feels like the 15th. Which means it (was) my birthday! Huzzah!
Anyways, everybody loves a good conspiracy theory. Especially those found in the vast world known as Pokémon. So, for this post, I will be discussing these theories.
First off, look at Clefairy. Now at Gengar. Now back at Clefairy. They’re shaped the same. (haha…old spice. Heh) Anyways, looking closely at Gengar and Clefairy, it is easy to tell that they look the same. You know, the same pointy ears, the humanoid shape. Why is that? Because Gengar is Clefairy's shadow. Obviously there are some differences, but its generally the same idea. Crazy, huh? Also, as Clefairy and Gengar are both normal and ghost types, respectively, they cannot attack each other.
Question. Do you think the designers screwed up the evolutions for a few well known Pokémon? I do. I think they fucked it up hard. And to be honest, I wish it wouldn’t have been the way it was. I wish they would have done it in the way that I think is correct. Anyways, lets get to the meat of this theory. Look at Caterpie, Metapod and Butterfree. Now look at Venonat and Venemoth. I don’t know about you guys, but when I look at them, I feel like those are wrong. I feel like it should bec Venomoth after Metapod, and Butterfree after Venonat. Look at their features. Butterfree has the purple, and the red eyes. Venomoth has the lighter purple, and the horn on his head. He has a similar structure to Metapod (that useless fuck. It’s only useful if it’s nicknamed Penis and it uses harden. Heh). Anyways, immaturity aside, some gamers believe this was a mistake.
Alrighty. You guys know that adorable little fella in mama Khangaskhan’s pouch? Yeah, that little adorable devil becomes Cubone when its mother dies. That’s right. This little Pokémon is so badass that he wears his mother’s head on his and fucks bitches up. Cubone straight up does not give a fuck. He’s badass. But when you look at the skull on his head, it looks strangely similar to that of Khangaskhan: long snout, pointy ears. Cubone is also a orphan Pokémon. This traumatic experience is probably why he is who he is. In short, he’s like the Batman of the Pokémon world. :D
Another question. Where’s your rivals Raticate? What happened to Blue’s Raticate? Oh wait, I remember. You fucking killed it. How? Remember a little boat by the name of the…S.S. Anne? Yeah. You remember battling him on board the boat? Yeah, it’s coming back now, isn’t it? If you correctly recall, he had a Raticate. He doesn’t have that anymore. Does he? Nope. You run into him in the Lavender Town tower where they lay Pokémon to rest. Your rival proclaims “Hey! What brings you here? Your Pokémon don’t look dead!” Because they’re…..OH SHIT. Yeah, you just made the connection, didn’t you? Yes. Amidst the chaos that was the S.S. Anne, your rival couldn’t get his Raticate to a Pokémon center. It died. And you killed it. How do you feel? Warm and fuzzy? You shouldn’t, you sick fuck. That’s why he’s chillen in Lavender town. To lay his beloved Pokémon to rest. Good job.
Here’s another tasty tidbit. How many middle aged men have you seen in the world of Pokémon? How many young trainers do you fight? Or elderly folks? Another question. Where’s your dad? Where’s your rival’s dad? Don’t give me that bullshit answer that your parents were divorced. No no. Fuck that. They’re dead. They’re pushing up daisies. They kicked the bucket. Why do I have such a blunt answer? There was a fucking war. Again, how many middle aged people do you battle? Very very few. There’s Lt. Surge. Yep. He’s middle aged. There are plenty of the little spitfuck toddlers roaming around. And there are the elderly too. But when you battle Lt. Surge, he mentions something about how his Raichu saved his ass. If it wasn’t for his Raichu, he’d be dead. The gym leaders were all fighting in a great war. Imagine a war. With Pokémon. Loads of them. Fighting. Scary shit. That is incredibly scary. Imagine a bunch of flying Charizards coming to rape your shit. Yeah, you’d freak out too. This is what caused the generation gap.
I don’t know about you, but I think this is plausible, and scary as hell. I also think its probably my favorite one too.
However, this does it for me for now. I’m sure there are plenty of other theories, but these are some of my favorites. …They were also located together on one convenient site, which I used some info from. Thus, I need to make sure I give them credit.
http://geek.pikimal.com/2011/04/12/the-craziest-pokmon-fan-theories/
Oh yeah. One last thing to leave you guys with. Look at Diglett’s mouth. Yeah, his mouth. Look at the white spot. Yep, it’s a tooth. You can no longer un-see this. Congratulations.
Until next time folks,
Killinglights
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