Ramblings of a Madman

Greetings everyone!

Is it already my turn to post? Shit. Just as a heads up, I've got nothing. I'm just going to type and see what I get. So, buckle up, keep all hands inside of the vehicle (and out of your pants you perverts) and enjoy the ride. Here we go.

So, life is pretty crazy right now. My poor xbox is so unloved. Before this weekend, the last time I touched my xbox was to watch Criminal Minds (damn fucking good show) off of my hard drive. That was early last week. *sigh. The joys of being a music major. Luckily, this weekend was a really relaxed weekend for me, and I managed to get all of my shit done so I could finally relax and play some. As many of you know, it was a double experience weekend in CoD from CoD 4 - CoD 7 (Black Cocks...err, Ops). Naturally, as I already own MW3 (just gotta pick it up now), I know about prestige tokens. So, I had to jump on that bandwagon and prestige the fuck out of my profile. Sadly, I was only able to prestige in Black Ops for the first time ever. I went from level 44 to prestige-ing, and worked my way up to level 14 of my 1st prestige all over the course of probably 6 hours. It was a little disgusting, actually. But anyhoo, I tried to prestige in MW2. Sadly, I was level 55, and there was just no way. I'm only level 56, almost 57. I think I'm a good 2,000 xp away. So, odds are I'll finish that up tonight, and call that good. But hey, one prestige token is still solid.

But other than CoD, the last games I played were Assassin's Creed (yeah, the first one. I don't have a whole lot of time. Bite me) and Forza Motorsports 3. Forza is good, it's amusing and its pretty damn good looking too. But shit fuck jeebus is it repetitive as hell. Oh look! Another race! Lets spin the douche bag in first out, and then proceed to rape the rest of the track. It was fun for a while, but I've kind of lost interest. I'll keep playing more later when I feel like it. Gotta whore myself out for those achievements. :D I must say, I do love that I made my Camaro look like Bumblebee (yeah, it is fucking original. Thanks for the compliment. dick.) But I must say, I fucking HATE auto braking. Here I am driving at 243 mph, when the auto brake line comes up and slows me the fuck down. FUCK THAT SHIT. I'll brake when I want to brake! If that means I crash into a goddamn wall because I didn't brake soon enough, well then thats my own damn fault. I've got it turned off for my main...campaign(...not sure what to call it...) but it gets me more money and lets me race myself. It's a win-win. As I stated before, I'm a DOUCHE when it comes to driving. I ram into people in front of me so they spin out into the grass facing the wrong way with no hopes of ever making it past 6th place. I don't care, I laugh. Other than being repetitive, it's fun.

Now, Assassin's Creed. I'm not very far into it, again, that whole lack of time thing. But it's fantastic. I'm loving it. I love free running, I love climbing on all the things! heh. meme joke. But assassinating people is very satisfying. I love it, and can't wait to beat it. I'll pick up ACII for x-mas as well. Yep.

ARKHAM CITY. OH GOD WHY MUST I BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT?! I left it at home so I would get shit done. I will beat it over Thanksgiving break. Okay, play it a bunch. I want to play it so bad. It looks AMAZING. So amazing. I can't wait. Ahhhhh! If only I had 30+ hours to devote to it right now. Damn you classes and instruments! lol

Quick intervention (heh) on MW3. I can't wait (haters gonna hate. odds are I'll pick up BF3 too. My roomie has it and it's sweet.) But I'm going home that weekend and bringing it back (which may or may not be a bad thing...) I'll just have my good friend hide it if I can't handle it being here. haha. I'm like a little kid. But yes. I can't wait. I'm giddy like a school girl for these games.

Well folks...that should just about do it for my rambling. I...well, I rambled. I should probably get back to work. Speaking of work, I should probably focus, as I wrote this is class for a later posting. I just have no desire to be here in Music Theory. When the fuck will I ever need to know what synthetic scales are? Fuck, I just play music. Fuck this shit.

Oh well. Until next time folks.

Stay classy,

Killinglights

Morir es Vivir

I am currently balls deep into my second run of Resident Evil 4 and I'm messing around with the Mine Thrower. "But toodlekittens," you might say "isn't the Mine Thrower the worst weapon in the game next to Handgun?" Yeah well nuts to you my dear reader I straight up don't give a crap. I'm using the Mine Thrower like it's going out of style, I upgraded sumbitch up to it's exclusive and even stuck the sight on it because it wasn't over- powered. That's right I can zoom in on the corner I'm going to shoot them little explosive darts at but it doesn't even matter because this weapons exclusive makes it so it hones in on whatever queer ganado is around. Yep, my freaking Mine Thrower is all like that Yao Ming rage face. But this post isn't really about how balls-to-the-wall awesome the Mine Thrower is, this post is about how Resident Evil 4 kicked my ass on my first play through. Resident Evil 4 was just not having any of my bitch ass shenanigans.

So I downloaded my game and got started on that like my life depended on it. Since it was my first play in a long time I decided to watch all the cut scenes because it reminded me of a much simpler time in my youth. I didn't run into any major hurdles until I got to the villages and had to run around like a pansy from Dr. Salvador (yes the chainsaw guys have names, and they are all the same doctor which doesn't make any sense since at various points you have to fight multiple of him which totally boggles the mind) and I got cornered and died, yes, you heard that right I freaking died before the goddamn prologue was over. So I said screw it and continued when that Capt. Obvious screen comes up telling you what happened to you. After a rough beginning I got to Del Lago yeah that asshole was going to pick up where his friend the Doctor left off and proceeded to knock me of that boat and kill 4 times, yep that giant salamander wrecked my shit, then I realized that it wasn't Del Lago who was killing me but actually my own pride and joy; my red controller. If you didn't know this the Sixaxis and yes even those Mantine shaped Xbox beasts (haha Pokemon reference) are a lot more sensitive then those Gamecube relics. Since I was used to over compensating on the Cube when you were in the butt (Finding Nemo), it really didn't translate to the current gaming facilitators. Armed with this knowledge, I rode on head held up high and full of youthful arrogance.

Then I rescued Ashley. Things where going fine until the two paths you get to choose from, you get either the Bella Sisters (there's actually 4 sisters in all) or you get to fight another Gigante. I chose the Gigante path because I thought what the hell it's only one. And you know I would have left that path without much incident if it wasn't for that little whore-slut Ashley (that's right whore-slut). If you are not readily familiar there is a boulder that you can shoot down and hit that Gigante, there's no way you could miss it since Ashley points it out, so I lined up my shot took out the boulder and flattened Ashley. Why would I do such and awful thing you might ask, well let me tell you why that sad excuse of an AI stood under the boulder while I was shooting it down, she did this 5 times (if you are keeping score at home this puts my death total 10). Finally after deciding to just gun down that damn Gigante with my Red9, we were able to move.

After janking the crap out of a boss battle we continued on to the castle. I got through most of the first part of the castle pretty well, we then arrived at the hall of water. I hate that room more than Hitler hated the Jews, no joke that is just one awful experience one after the other. After being gang-raped up that ass with shield ganados for the third time I rolled up my sleeves, hoisted the black flag and started blowing through my ammo faster than a 14 year old boy climaxes for the first time (I'm actually creeped out by my analogy but I'm just going to let it slide, also 13). Much of the game hereafter went well with a lot of swearing and almost ending with my controller in my TV, but I persevered and made it to the island.

Finally, after sever thousand f-bombs and a suspicious rash, I made it to the final leg of the game. So there I am with renewed optimism and a close to fully upgraded Bolt-Action rifle I mowed down all who stood in my path. I was doing pretty good until that first S&M fatty who runs faster than an African runs toward a bucket of fried chicken (I feel like that is in bad taste but I really don't care). I was bum rushed and raped by fatty with his hammer thing of doom, I feel like Dio would be proud of his hammer skills (I'm not sure where I was going with that joke, but there it is). After some more profanities I made it to the wrecking ball room here I died yet again because I had no shotgun ammo and I spent most of this sequence cowering in a corner throwing flashbangs until the wall had been destroyed. Then the game gets pretty boring after this part since all my weapons are now exclusive and just hand out the rape. I finally get to have my showdown with that asshat Osmund Saddler and I just don't even care I pull out my Killer 7 and give it to him where the sun don't shine over and over again until Ada throws down the special rocket launcher, I look at it briefly and laugh maniacally as I continue to put the hurt on Saddler with the Killer 7, when I finally get tired of blasting him and decide to pick up the launcher the pansy keels over, melts and dies. Roll credits, cue nostalgic feeling, and begin the obsession all over again.

All in all I had a very enjoyable time playing Resident Evil 4 again, although it could not capture the same feeling I had when I first played it, it was real goddamn close. This is a must have for any gamer especially if you never played it before, but if this isn't your first time to the rodeo well it's still worth the 20 bucks. For the record I died 15 times on this revisit and I died 69 times my first time ever.

hasta luego,
                  toodlekittens

There Might Be A God, And He Loves Beer

Hello all,

I know everything just got blasted out of order by post but I can't keep it in any more. FOUNDER'S CANADIAN BREAKFAST STOUT IS THE MOST AMAZING THING EVER CREATED ON THIS EARTH!!!!!!!

*ahem* I mean, indeed. This beer was quite exquisite. Yes. Honestly I've never had anything better than this. It is so smooth, so creamy, so balanced. First you get the look of a dark, thick, big beer and the smells of wonderful roast coffee flavors. These flavors were mixed PERFECTLY with chocolate flavors (not chocolate malts, actual chocolate.) And then an amazing finishing maple taste from the maple syrup barrels it was aged in. It is so smooth, so rich, so GLORIOUS. I am truly blessed to have consumed this beer. It is like God himself came down to Founder's and designed this beer. Thus our pilgrimage was complete. Mission accomplished Gibmaster. End transmission.

O Canada!

Ok guys, I'm sure the next time I post, I will marvel about Skyrim (!!!), MW3, and BF3. This, however, is a post that retells and epic adventure (possibly a greek tragedy), that Marth and I set out on. A few days before October, I had received a text message from my brother that Founders Canadian Breakfast stout (CBS) http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/1199/47658 is to be released unto the public come this October. Why might I care? It is, according to Beer Advocate, one of the top 5 brews in the nation.

October 7th rolls around, and I invited Marth to visit the Founders Brewery in Grand Rapids. Yes kiddies, this was to be a pilgrimage. Much like those lovable Muslims who need to visit Mecca once in their worldly life, I too needed to visit a holy place of sorts. Anyways, I thought that after a week, the crowd would've died down and I could easily obtain a pint (or 3) of the chocolatey, maple syrupy, carmelly, espresso-y goodness that CBS has to offer. This was not the case!

I had ordered a pint of CBS, and due to the background noise level (or the bartender's malevolent trickery - I'm not sure which) I had received Founders Breakfast Stout (nooo cannnadaaaaaa). Don't get me wrong, it was perhaps one of the best stouts that I have had the pleasure of tasting, but It wasn't what I had come for. I had tried a few others (and I would rather drink boiling tar mixed with skin flakes, moose urine, and sprite soda than ever drink another Founders Backwoods Bastard http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/1199/35036.) It was essentially like someone had mixed a pint of 1/3 Founders Dirty Bastard with 2/3 Jack Daniels. I may have a bias against oak aged spirits, but if I wanted whiskey, I wouldn't order a beer. But back to the story. I ordered another "CBS" to a different bartender, and much to my dismay, she had told me that within hours after it had been released that they sold out. I was too warm and fuzzy at that point to cry, but it did provide a decent buzz kill.

The next day was spend going through the local beer shops to find a bottle, but none could be found. In fact, one such place had received a shipment of 2 bottles that was greedily purchased by the owner. My search continued online, where such sites as eBay and Craigslist had bottles for sale by criminal masterminds who charge near $100 a bottle. The worst part was that people were bidding on them. Distraught, I turned to Marth for comfort.

Last night, as the moon shone through the window, glowing as an orb of hope and dreams, I had got a text message. Apparently tonight at a place and time I will not divulge, CBS is being tapped. HUZZAH! The journey continues...

Oh Call of Duty... I Will Never Break Your Hold

Good news everyone! (yes that was in a Professor Farnsworth voice).

I have officially pre-ordered the Collector's Edition of Skyrim on PC!! (Fanboy-ism FTW)

And to enjoy all the glorious Skyrim action the way it was meant to be enjoyed. One hand on WASD and the other in my pants errr on the mouse. Mind you this is my prayer that if there is a god out there he will let me run this on my laptop. (ohpleaseohpleaseohplease)

Other than that I've been grinding my way through my 10th prestige on MW2. ARGH! It is taking so long and the end can't come fast enough. I miss all the slaves I had leveling me up to get here. Ah well it just means Dragon Age and New Vegas get the back seat while I try to find time. (If I was single I could do this EASY. /sigh)

All is good on the beer front though. So many to tell about so little time. I've tried Lagunitas' Wilco Tango Foxtrot (read: WTF) and it is glorious. But that's the beginning. I went to Big Rapids Brewing Company and OH. MY. GOODNESS. Their beer was INCREDIBLE. They have not disappointed me at all because the second time I went with Gibmaster they had a Rye PA on tap which i don't know if I've told you is probably one of my favorite styles hands down. This weekend the Gibmastah and I will be partaking in many fine brews so next post will be all about that and possibly some BlOps-tastic adventures.

Musically nothing special over here. Just found a new awesome Alternative Metal band called Digital Summer. These guys are legit and should be bigger. Top notch stuff. Your ears will tell you more than I ever could.

Got a book to recommend actually! It's called Beast of Never, Cat of God. It is about the Pumas in Michigan and how they survive. IF you haven't figured it out yet I'm recommending this ironically because I have to read it for a class. So if I have to suffer you lovely people have to suffer too.

Here's the run down:

Videogames: Let's say none because let's face it, it's true.

Beers: Lagunitas' WTF and Big Rapids Brewing Company's everything ever made.

Music: Digital Summer and Crossfade's newest album

Books: Beast of Never, Cat of God (ironically).

That is all for me I should think. Still waiting on Ent_King to get off his ass and write a goddamn guest post for me. What a clown. But I will say this before I go. Keep your beers cold and your consoles warm folks. Because life is a sexually transmitted, terminal disease. And we're all gonna go up to the big videogame in the sky one day.

Peace out,

Darth