It Is Well Past The 11th Now. Guess I Should Post.

Well butter my backside and call me a biscuit.

After all that hype I finally got my glorious Skyrim. And proceeded to take it home and leave there for the rest of my semester, (*GASP* Darth!! WHY?!) Here's why. Because my life would go down the crapper if I had the game near me at all times. Oblivion pretty much ruined my relationship and I don't want the same with Skyrim. But fear not! Gibmaster is lucky enough to have a computer running that bad boy on Ultra. On a side note, damn him to hell. So I generated a character and ran some of the game (Redguards FTW and fuck you mainstream Nord clowns). The game pretty much looked and felt amazing! Hell I chased and hunted a goddamn deer for nearly 15 minutes before tagging him with my bow. So gameplay is pretty much amazing and they let you go do whatever you want to do (par for The Elder Scrolls games) BUT the tweaks they added pretty much make me cream my pants repeatedly. Dual wielding weapons allowing twice the destructive power pretty much makes the game for me. Spells? Meh. Sword and shield? pfft n00b. One spell, one sword? Congratu-fucking-lations. 2 swords? Looking like Drizzt Do'Urden? Yes please! Your opponents don't even know what hit them because they're dead in seconds. But that's enough on Skyrim for now.

MW3 is pretty much Call of Duty: Modern Black Ops. However consumers ate this shit up and i think it deserved its ridiculous sales numbers. It's still a great game. Multiplayer got bigger, better, and honestly much better balanced. People can pick this up and do well on it. Too bad its two huge CoD games too late. Ah well man up n00bs, it's time to pwn! Thanks again to Gibmaster for the countless hours we've spent chilling and drinking delicious beers and pwning n00bs.

Beer? You guys want some beer updates too? Even if you don't deal with it you ingrates. I had Atwater Block's Vanilla Java porter recently and it was incredible. Also Gibmaster and I had more Founder's CBS. So SUCK IT. Moving on. Founders Kentucky Breakfast Stout was also consumed by Gibmaster and I following our 2nd round of CBS and it was AMAZING. Almost better than CBS. ALMOST. Gotta love the maple flavor all up in you. We are also looking to acquire (via magnets) some Dogfish Head 120 min. IPA. It will happen.

Quick book update, Beast of Never, Cat of God is actually not that bad of a book. It's pretty interesting to see how people feel about Pumas in Michigan and how they may or may not exist.

SO RUNDOWN TIME!!

Videogames: Skyrim (duhhhhhhhhhhh) and MW3 (also duh if you need advice you're on the wrong blog)

Beer: At this point I recommend anything people. Just drink craft beer dammit. It's thanksgiving.

Music: Absolutely digging In This Moment. Trivium's latest album is absolutely good too. Go listen NOW!!

Finally Book: Beast of Never, Cat of God. Not ironically this time.

That's all I've got. Be on the lookout for Gibmaster's post hopefully coming soon. Also if you happen to know my intended guest poster, tell him to get on his shit and stop slacking. And for the love of christ people try the Founders Canadian Breakfast Stout by any means possible. It's worth it.

Over and out Connecticut,

Darth

Is It November 11th Yet?

Nothing to see here. Move along. That's it. Yep. Read the title of the post. Talk to me then.

Ramblings of a Madman

Greetings everyone!

Is it already my turn to post? Shit. Just as a heads up, I've got nothing. I'm just going to type and see what I get. So, buckle up, keep all hands inside of the vehicle (and out of your pants you perverts) and enjoy the ride. Here we go.

So, life is pretty crazy right now. My poor xbox is so unloved. Before this weekend, the last time I touched my xbox was to watch Criminal Minds (damn fucking good show) off of my hard drive. That was early last week. *sigh. The joys of being a music major. Luckily, this weekend was a really relaxed weekend for me, and I managed to get all of my shit done so I could finally relax and play some. As many of you know, it was a double experience weekend in CoD from CoD 4 - CoD 7 (Black Cocks...err, Ops). Naturally, as I already own MW3 (just gotta pick it up now), I know about prestige tokens. So, I had to jump on that bandwagon and prestige the fuck out of my profile. Sadly, I was only able to prestige in Black Ops for the first time ever. I went from level 44 to prestige-ing, and worked my way up to level 14 of my 1st prestige all over the course of probably 6 hours. It was a little disgusting, actually. But anyhoo, I tried to prestige in MW2. Sadly, I was level 55, and there was just no way. I'm only level 56, almost 57. I think I'm a good 2,000 xp away. So, odds are I'll finish that up tonight, and call that good. But hey, one prestige token is still solid.

But other than CoD, the last games I played were Assassin's Creed (yeah, the first one. I don't have a whole lot of time. Bite me) and Forza Motorsports 3. Forza is good, it's amusing and its pretty damn good looking too. But shit fuck jeebus is it repetitive as hell. Oh look! Another race! Lets spin the douche bag in first out, and then proceed to rape the rest of the track. It was fun for a while, but I've kind of lost interest. I'll keep playing more later when I feel like it. Gotta whore myself out for those achievements. :D I must say, I do love that I made my Camaro look like Bumblebee (yeah, it is fucking original. Thanks for the compliment. dick.) But I must say, I fucking HATE auto braking. Here I am driving at 243 mph, when the auto brake line comes up and slows me the fuck down. FUCK THAT SHIT. I'll brake when I want to brake! If that means I crash into a goddamn wall because I didn't brake soon enough, well then thats my own damn fault. I've got it turned off for my main...campaign(...not sure what to call it...) but it gets me more money and lets me race myself. It's a win-win. As I stated before, I'm a DOUCHE when it comes to driving. I ram into people in front of me so they spin out into the grass facing the wrong way with no hopes of ever making it past 6th place. I don't care, I laugh. Other than being repetitive, it's fun.

Now, Assassin's Creed. I'm not very far into it, again, that whole lack of time thing. But it's fantastic. I'm loving it. I love free running, I love climbing on all the things! heh. meme joke. But assassinating people is very satisfying. I love it, and can't wait to beat it. I'll pick up ACII for x-mas as well. Yep.

ARKHAM CITY. OH GOD WHY MUST I BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT?! I left it at home so I would get shit done. I will beat it over Thanksgiving break. Okay, play it a bunch. I want to play it so bad. It looks AMAZING. So amazing. I can't wait. Ahhhhh! If only I had 30+ hours to devote to it right now. Damn you classes and instruments! lol

Quick intervention (heh) on MW3. I can't wait (haters gonna hate. odds are I'll pick up BF3 too. My roomie has it and it's sweet.) But I'm going home that weekend and bringing it back (which may or may not be a bad thing...) I'll just have my good friend hide it if I can't handle it being here. haha. I'm like a little kid. But yes. I can't wait. I'm giddy like a school girl for these games.

Well folks...that should just about do it for my rambling. I...well, I rambled. I should probably get back to work. Speaking of work, I should probably focus, as I wrote this is class for a later posting. I just have no desire to be here in Music Theory. When the fuck will I ever need to know what synthetic scales are? Fuck, I just play music. Fuck this shit.

Oh well. Until next time folks.

Stay classy,

Killinglights

Morir es Vivir

I am currently balls deep into my second run of Resident Evil 4 and I'm messing around with the Mine Thrower. "But toodlekittens," you might say "isn't the Mine Thrower the worst weapon in the game next to Handgun?" Yeah well nuts to you my dear reader I straight up don't give a crap. I'm using the Mine Thrower like it's going out of style, I upgraded sumbitch up to it's exclusive and even stuck the sight on it because it wasn't over- powered. That's right I can zoom in on the corner I'm going to shoot them little explosive darts at but it doesn't even matter because this weapons exclusive makes it so it hones in on whatever queer ganado is around. Yep, my freaking Mine Thrower is all like that Yao Ming rage face. But this post isn't really about how balls-to-the-wall awesome the Mine Thrower is, this post is about how Resident Evil 4 kicked my ass on my first play through. Resident Evil 4 was just not having any of my bitch ass shenanigans.

So I downloaded my game and got started on that like my life depended on it. Since it was my first play in a long time I decided to watch all the cut scenes because it reminded me of a much simpler time in my youth. I didn't run into any major hurdles until I got to the villages and had to run around like a pansy from Dr. Salvador (yes the chainsaw guys have names, and they are all the same doctor which doesn't make any sense since at various points you have to fight multiple of him which totally boggles the mind) and I got cornered and died, yes, you heard that right I freaking died before the goddamn prologue was over. So I said screw it and continued when that Capt. Obvious screen comes up telling you what happened to you. After a rough beginning I got to Del Lago yeah that asshole was going to pick up where his friend the Doctor left off and proceeded to knock me of that boat and kill 4 times, yep that giant salamander wrecked my shit, then I realized that it wasn't Del Lago who was killing me but actually my own pride and joy; my red controller. If you didn't know this the Sixaxis and yes even those Mantine shaped Xbox beasts (haha Pokemon reference) are a lot more sensitive then those Gamecube relics. Since I was used to over compensating on the Cube when you were in the butt (Finding Nemo), it really didn't translate to the current gaming facilitators. Armed with this knowledge, I rode on head held up high and full of youthful arrogance.

Then I rescued Ashley. Things where going fine until the two paths you get to choose from, you get either the Bella Sisters (there's actually 4 sisters in all) or you get to fight another Gigante. I chose the Gigante path because I thought what the hell it's only one. And you know I would have left that path without much incident if it wasn't for that little whore-slut Ashley (that's right whore-slut). If you are not readily familiar there is a boulder that you can shoot down and hit that Gigante, there's no way you could miss it since Ashley points it out, so I lined up my shot took out the boulder and flattened Ashley. Why would I do such and awful thing you might ask, well let me tell you why that sad excuse of an AI stood under the boulder while I was shooting it down, she did this 5 times (if you are keeping score at home this puts my death total 10). Finally after deciding to just gun down that damn Gigante with my Red9, we were able to move.

After janking the crap out of a boss battle we continued on to the castle. I got through most of the first part of the castle pretty well, we then arrived at the hall of water. I hate that room more than Hitler hated the Jews, no joke that is just one awful experience one after the other. After being gang-raped up that ass with shield ganados for the third time I rolled up my sleeves, hoisted the black flag and started blowing through my ammo faster than a 14 year old boy climaxes for the first time (I'm actually creeped out by my analogy but I'm just going to let it slide, also 13). Much of the game hereafter went well with a lot of swearing and almost ending with my controller in my TV, but I persevered and made it to the island.

Finally, after sever thousand f-bombs and a suspicious rash, I made it to the final leg of the game. So there I am with renewed optimism and a close to fully upgraded Bolt-Action rifle I mowed down all who stood in my path. I was doing pretty good until that first S&M fatty who runs faster than an African runs toward a bucket of fried chicken (I feel like that is in bad taste but I really don't care). I was bum rushed and raped by fatty with his hammer thing of doom, I feel like Dio would be proud of his hammer skills (I'm not sure where I was going with that joke, but there it is). After some more profanities I made it to the wrecking ball room here I died yet again because I had no shotgun ammo and I spent most of this sequence cowering in a corner throwing flashbangs until the wall had been destroyed. Then the game gets pretty boring after this part since all my weapons are now exclusive and just hand out the rape. I finally get to have my showdown with that asshat Osmund Saddler and I just don't even care I pull out my Killer 7 and give it to him where the sun don't shine over and over again until Ada throws down the special rocket launcher, I look at it briefly and laugh maniacally as I continue to put the hurt on Saddler with the Killer 7, when I finally get tired of blasting him and decide to pick up the launcher the pansy keels over, melts and dies. Roll credits, cue nostalgic feeling, and begin the obsession all over again.

All in all I had a very enjoyable time playing Resident Evil 4 again, although it could not capture the same feeling I had when I first played it, it was real goddamn close. This is a must have for any gamer especially if you never played it before, but if this isn't your first time to the rodeo well it's still worth the 20 bucks. For the record I died 15 times on this revisit and I died 69 times my first time ever.

hasta luego,
                  toodlekittens

There Might Be A God, And He Loves Beer

Hello all,

I know everything just got blasted out of order by post but I can't keep it in any more. FOUNDER'S CANADIAN BREAKFAST STOUT IS THE MOST AMAZING THING EVER CREATED ON THIS EARTH!!!!!!!

*ahem* I mean, indeed. This beer was quite exquisite. Yes. Honestly I've never had anything better than this. It is so smooth, so creamy, so balanced. First you get the look of a dark, thick, big beer and the smells of wonderful roast coffee flavors. These flavors were mixed PERFECTLY with chocolate flavors (not chocolate malts, actual chocolate.) And then an amazing finishing maple taste from the maple syrup barrels it was aged in. It is so smooth, so rich, so GLORIOUS. I am truly blessed to have consumed this beer. It is like God himself came down to Founder's and designed this beer. Thus our pilgrimage was complete. Mission accomplished Gibmaster. End transmission.

O Canada!

Ok guys, I'm sure the next time I post, I will marvel about Skyrim (!!!), MW3, and BF3. This, however, is a post that retells and epic adventure (possibly a greek tragedy), that Marth and I set out on. A few days before October, I had received a text message from my brother that Founders Canadian Breakfast stout (CBS) http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/1199/47658 is to be released unto the public come this October. Why might I care? It is, according to Beer Advocate, one of the top 5 brews in the nation.

October 7th rolls around, and I invited Marth to visit the Founders Brewery in Grand Rapids. Yes kiddies, this was to be a pilgrimage. Much like those lovable Muslims who need to visit Mecca once in their worldly life, I too needed to visit a holy place of sorts. Anyways, I thought that after a week, the crowd would've died down and I could easily obtain a pint (or 3) of the chocolatey, maple syrupy, carmelly, espresso-y goodness that CBS has to offer. This was not the case!

I had ordered a pint of CBS, and due to the background noise level (or the bartender's malevolent trickery - I'm not sure which) I had received Founders Breakfast Stout (nooo cannnadaaaaaa). Don't get me wrong, it was perhaps one of the best stouts that I have had the pleasure of tasting, but It wasn't what I had come for. I had tried a few others (and I would rather drink boiling tar mixed with skin flakes, moose urine, and sprite soda than ever drink another Founders Backwoods Bastard http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/1199/35036.) It was essentially like someone had mixed a pint of 1/3 Founders Dirty Bastard with 2/3 Jack Daniels. I may have a bias against oak aged spirits, but if I wanted whiskey, I wouldn't order a beer. But back to the story. I ordered another "CBS" to a different bartender, and much to my dismay, she had told me that within hours after it had been released that they sold out. I was too warm and fuzzy at that point to cry, but it did provide a decent buzz kill.

The next day was spend going through the local beer shops to find a bottle, but none could be found. In fact, one such place had received a shipment of 2 bottles that was greedily purchased by the owner. My search continued online, where such sites as eBay and Craigslist had bottles for sale by criminal masterminds who charge near $100 a bottle. The worst part was that people were bidding on them. Distraught, I turned to Marth for comfort.

Last night, as the moon shone through the window, glowing as an orb of hope and dreams, I had got a text message. Apparently tonight at a place and time I will not divulge, CBS is being tapped. HUZZAH! The journey continues...

Oh Call of Duty... I Will Never Break Your Hold

Good news everyone! (yes that was in a Professor Farnsworth voice).

I have officially pre-ordered the Collector's Edition of Skyrim on PC!! (Fanboy-ism FTW)

And to enjoy all the glorious Skyrim action the way it was meant to be enjoyed. One hand on WASD and the other in my pants errr on the mouse. Mind you this is my prayer that if there is a god out there he will let me run this on my laptop. (ohpleaseohpleaseohplease)

Other than that I've been grinding my way through my 10th prestige on MW2. ARGH! It is taking so long and the end can't come fast enough. I miss all the slaves I had leveling me up to get here. Ah well it just means Dragon Age and New Vegas get the back seat while I try to find time. (If I was single I could do this EASY. /sigh)

All is good on the beer front though. So many to tell about so little time. I've tried Lagunitas' Wilco Tango Foxtrot (read: WTF) and it is glorious. But that's the beginning. I went to Big Rapids Brewing Company and OH. MY. GOODNESS. Their beer was INCREDIBLE. They have not disappointed me at all because the second time I went with Gibmaster they had a Rye PA on tap which i don't know if I've told you is probably one of my favorite styles hands down. This weekend the Gibmastah and I will be partaking in many fine brews so next post will be all about that and possibly some BlOps-tastic adventures.

Musically nothing special over here. Just found a new awesome Alternative Metal band called Digital Summer. These guys are legit and should be bigger. Top notch stuff. Your ears will tell you more than I ever could.

Got a book to recommend actually! It's called Beast of Never, Cat of God. It is about the Pumas in Michigan and how they survive. IF you haven't figured it out yet I'm recommending this ironically because I have to read it for a class. So if I have to suffer you lovely people have to suffer too.

Here's the run down:

Videogames: Let's say none because let's face it, it's true.

Beers: Lagunitas' WTF and Big Rapids Brewing Company's everything ever made.

Music: Digital Summer and Crossfade's newest album

Books: Beast of Never, Cat of God (ironically).

That is all for me I should think. Still waiting on Ent_King to get off his ass and write a goddamn guest post for me. What a clown. But I will say this before I go. Keep your beers cold and your consoles warm folks. Because life is a sexually transmitted, terminal disease. And we're all gonna go up to the big videogame in the sky one day.

Peace out,

Darth

¡Es el Forastero!

As it happens in 9 days one of my favorite games of all time will be re-released in HD downloadable format for the PS3 and XBOX360, which will mean that it will be available for 5 consoles and PC. Yeah that's right this game is so awesome that it was on the Gamecube, PS2, Wii (psssh silly Wii), PS3, and XBOX360 and PC. What game could be so awesome that it needed to be on so many platforms you ask? Well it is the panty-peeling, face-melting Resident Evil 4 (or Biohazard 4 for you import fans). Yes, it's back from the dead, or well a re-animated corpse through the use of a plaga.

This is the game the that propelled yours truly from a casual to hardcore gamer. Ah the fond memories I have of this game and the not so fond memories. First before I recount some of them there is something that you need to know about me, I like playing games first before any of my friends especially if they are games that we can all play at some point. So I'm not talking about console exclusives, I'm talking about big name, multi-platform deals. And the reason that I like doing this so much is because I like watching my friends play them after I have beat them and give them tips, and maybe watch them squirm for a bit on areas I had problems with or seeing what different tactics they use to surmount obstacles.

Well the best part of Resident Evil 4 was that it was the first Horror/Survival game we all played, so being the first one of our circle to play, I was the unofficial game guide. Well asking me for help in Resident Evil 4 was like asking for a wish from a Djinn, maybe you will get what you want, maybe you will get a trick played on you (more on that later). It's a position of power, not just power but absolute power and you know what they say "power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely."

So I think it's time for some fond memories of not only walking people into traps, also helping them find some hidden goodies, and even my first time (is it just me or does this sound like this is about sex? nah it's probably just me, anywho...) playing Resident Evil 4. Let us start out with walking someone into a trap, my friend we will call him Ent_King well he was having a little rough time with getting to the church and killinglights and I were watching him play and trying to give him some pointers, well Ent_King was getting frustrated as he is want to do and I tell him to shoot the bell that's in the tower. If you don't know what that does well it summons a mob of enemies to attack you poor Ent_King already flustered, frustrated and low on ammo barely survived the encounter. Later when Ent_King had saved Ashley from the church and finally escaped the church with her I told him to head back into the church because there was treasure. Inside the church are two enemies you won't fight until later in the game and they are the fanatics with crossbows, Ent_King was not prepared for that battle at all it was a miracle and his skill that saved him. Well I felt a little bad after walking him into two traps so when he was far enough in the castle I helped him get the Broken Butterfly, maybe I forgot to mention the Novistador in his path I mean come on there has to be some surprises lets just say Ent_King was none too happy. I suppose it's time I recounted some of the things that happened during my first play through, I died 69 times, I was led into an ambush of those godforsaken demon dogs, and I murdered absolutely everything in my path there was no chicken, snake, fish and enemy that was safe and I loved ever minute of it. I guess that's why I played it 23 times which happens to be the most times I have ever played a game. And I will probably play it 23 more times when it gets re-released September 20th which if you are a fan you will know it's the 15th anniversary of the series.

Hasta luego,
                   toddlekittens

Awesomeness that comes in a box

Greetings,

Sorry about the wait for a new post. (We’re not getting paid to do this…) But life happens, and believe me, when you’re working 10 hours a day in a factory, you don’t really feel much like doing anything. But alas, I’m finally done and back at school (because I’ll have soooo much free time this semester with my 17 credits. Whee). But hopefully, we’ll all get our posting fiber and keep regular.

But today, I’d like to talk to you about a game I played this summer. It’s a pretty well known game that’s been around for a while. Some of you might know this game to be Batman: Arkham Asylum. This game…holy shit. Where do I begin? In all honesty, this was one of the best $20 I’ve ever spent. This game is truly incredible. The combat system is crazy awesome, (takes some getting used to. I will admit, I beat the game by button mashing most of it, which is very problematic, but I’ll get to that a little later). But just being able to control Batman, doing what Batman does best with his gadgets and sneaking around. Oh…it’s simply phenomenal. You start the game off walking with a shit ton of guards into Arkham Asylum with none other than the Joker himself (I LOVE the Joker. He’s awesome). If you didn’t know this, they actually got the original voices of Batman and the Joker from the animated series. Awww yeah, Mark Hamill. Anyways, you’re leading the Joker to his holding cell in the depths of the Asylum. Joker is creepy awesome with his dialogue. But, naturally, Joker has a plan and he tricks Batman into essentially letting the Joker free to take of the Asylum. You find out that the Joker has been planning this for a very long time.

So, you control Batman, finding all of his juicy little gadgets, knocking bad guys out (never killing, which is why Batman is my favorite super hero) and making your way through the Asylum to get to Joker. Along the way, you find all of these secrets and riddles left by the Riddler (you don’t meet him in game, just chat with him) and you find out all kinds of interesting tidbits about the people and things of Batman, including things like character bios, which are AWESOME. But, you level up and you can upgrade Batman’s abilities and gadgets. I can’t tell you the ending, because it spoils it (derp) and I want you all to find out for yourself. This game is truly incredible, its so much fun, very in depth and there is so much to do in it too. It took me quite a while to find all of the riddles. But it was worth it (and you get an achievement, so all of you achievement whores out there like me will enjoy that hunt.) Also, you get to meet some other baddies, such as Scarecrow, Killer Croc, Bane, Poison Ivy…the list goes on. It’s very cool seeing how they all intertwine in the game. But there is more after you complete the main storyline. Challenges.

Oh boy…challenges. There are two types of challenges, combat and predator challenges. Combat challenges are self-explanatory. …You fight…bad guys. Well, okay, it’s a little more complicated then that, but not much. Basically, you string together combos through each round (which get progressively harder with more enemies) trying to obtain the highest score you can. You earn one, two, or three “medals” depending on your score. Higher score, means more medals. There are 8 maps, 3 medals each for a total of yep, you guessed it, 24 medals. (You get achievements for this too, 8 medals, 16 and then 24 all earn you achievements.) But this is where the button mashing comes into play. DON’T FUCKING BUTTON MASH. Seriously, makes the challenges impossible. I can’t do them. I’m getting better, but they’re hard as fuck. So please, try to tap the buttons, not mash them during the story to set up for combat challenges. It’ll save you time and stress.

But the other type of challenge is the predator challenges. To earn these medals, you have to knock out the bad guys in a certain way to get them. They’re a hell of a lot easier than the combat challenges, but still kind of tough (some. Plus getting timing down is tough).

So folks, I hope I have convinced you to run out and buy this game, if you own it, wipe the dust off and play it again. Remember, Arkham City is out October 18. I’m getting it, are you?

Until next time folks, stay in the shadows.

Killing lights

Fun at the Beach

Hidilly-ho bloggerinos,

I was going to write about the Brewtastic Adventure of Awesome, but I shall save that for my next post; get excited (or angry) but I'm saving you all from the Beast of Redundancy. As some of you may know, I have fallen victim to the Blops fad (save me!), but very recently I took it to the next level. I had done my research, and Turtle Beach headsets seemed to be quite a nice peripheral to have. I live in a quiet building, so I now can finally blast my gun, full volume, and hear the HD surround sound tink as my shells hit the floor around me.

I was just about to buy the Earforce X11s, but then saw that if I waited a few more days, I could get the X12s. While acquiring the headset was near impossible (Dammit GameStop! how do you NOT carry the newest gaming gadgets?!) I ordered them from Amazon, and got free 2 day shipping.

While a little superfluous, mayhap even exuberant, they are SWEET. The feature 50mm speakers, (up from 40-something on the X11), A separate mic and game volume control, as well as an adjustable Bass boost unit. They changed the color from white to black, to match the new generation of Xboxes, and also added a feature that lets you hear your own voice in the speakers, should you choose to chat.

I was a little skeptical at first, but I quickly fell in love with them. They really do make a difference. And for all you blops-fags out there (like me :/) NINJA PRO actually works with these. Way cool. I'd say it is a must for all of you serious camper-trolls out there, who need to be aware of their surroundings.

Any dislikes you ask? HOLY CRAPMOSTER4.986! They get freakin' LOUD! Not like, "Hmm wow. That's rather loud, I should say." But rather, like a winged rhinoceros did the dirty with a unicorn, had a mutant baby that grew up and married a foghorn, and THEIR 300 offspring are gangbanging your eardrums simultaneously. Fortunately, if turned up like 1/50th of the way, the sound is pristine.

Alright kiddies, time to go prestige while I wait for MW3, Battlefield 3, and SKYRIMMMMM, to come out. Aww, don't cry, you should be off playing something anyway. GIB out.

Oh wait... on a more personal note... I adopted the hugest, most weird looking, but oddly beautiful cat ever. Ok, that's all I can think of for right now.

GIB out. For real. STOP READING ALREADY AND GIVE YOUR SYSTEM SOME LOVINS! I gotta go feed my cat for the 7000th time today.

Goddammit,

My apologies to all you lovely people for my lack of motivation to write one of these. I was hoping for a guest post but apparently my guest has decided to sit on his thumb and spin. Moving on not a lot has happened in my life. Still dating, still playing videogames and still drinking beer. New recommendations however and they will be at the bottom of this post. So first off how 'bout that Skyrim pre-order bonus eh? Oh yea a physical map of the game. Initially I went, "WHAT?!?!" but now im like, "fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap." That Collector's Edition is calling my name and I'll be damned if I don't get it. I could never call myself a fanboy ever again. Next up is i finally got to playing New Vegas on my Xbox. That was so awful. So I immediately had it replaced for the PC. That's right. The PC. I said it. I'm playing the games they were meant to be played. Dragon Age, Fallout 3, Oblivion (and soon Skyrim!! fapptiyfapfapfap) all meant for my glorious PC which after 3 years still runs these games when Dell itself says my computer is obsolete.

So there's that. To the glorious land of beer! I had a chance recently to go to Arcadia Ales in Battle Creek, MI and Darkhorse Brewery in Marshall, MI and they both were phenomenal breweries. Darkhorse had their own brewed cream soda on tap which was also as good as their beers. Arcadia has a fantastic restaurant in addition to some excellent beers. I also hit Saugatuck Brewing Company (the name says it all) which also had some good beers and a good restaurant. Finally Oddside Ales in Grand Haven I returned to today and for doing some pretty unusual beers (hence Oddside) they are topnotch. Also this past 4th of August was International IPA day (which I celebrated of course) so look forward to that next year!

So here it is.

Videogame: Dragon Age

Beers: Arcadia's Sky High Rye, Saugatuck's Singapore IPA, New Holland's Sundog and finally Founder's Devil Dancer (its a triple IPA and it is AMAZING on tap!)

Music: Coheed & Cambria's Second Stage Turbine Blade, and Static-X's Wisconsin Death Trip

Literature: Dan Brown's Lost Symbol, and Jim Butcher's Dresden Files Series.

That's all for now folks! Hopefully I'll be better but hey with all this beer I'm drinking I'll be lucky if I can find my own pants! Haha. Remember if you put the bottle down, the Man wins.

To "health,"

Darth

What Happens in the Wasteland... Is going to be heard about at some point and you will be killed for those atrocities you committed.

When I play games with a morality system(for the purposes of this post we will use Fallout as the example) I tend to be the good guy, not just "good guy" but the "holy Jesus he killed himself so we could live" guy. Yeah I tend to play the Savior/Martyr/Champion character and most people in the game tend to thank me for it... yet even the brightest light casts a shadow, so then every paragon has his faults. And well mine is cold hard cash(caps) and shiny new stuff.

See I don't just like money in games(Fallout) it's a necessity for me because I have to spend them, and more often then not the things I do spend them on are completely frivolous and useless. But I needs the shiny new item that merchant I just passed has. It gets pretty bad for my character I will give you a for example: my character in New Vegas(his name was James Martin in case you cared) was the biggest goody two shoes you would ever meet in the Mojave Wasteland. And one day while wandering the wastes I met a merchant who had a weapon mod that I had been looking for for something like 12 hours(not in game but real time) problem was I didn't have enough caps for it, I didn't really need the mod because I wasn't using that weapon but in my blind ambition I went to the nearest town razed it to ground murdered every single soul within until I had the caps for the part I was looking for. Needless to say some folk in the Mojave weren't really happy about my wholesale slaughter, I'm sure they would have been even more pissed if they knew why I did so I ended up reloading a save because I was being hunted down by the very people I had previously swore to protect.

Other times I don't reload another time I just say screw it, I had spent 15 hours trying to gain the trust of this faction but then out of nowhere some NPC walks by with some sweet ass armor so I go to my nearest merchant to see if maybe he had some that was just like it(I feel it's important to mention that for this particular play through I wanted nothing but be part of this faction). Unfortunately for this settlement the merchant did not have in stock that awesome armor I saw that guy wearing a couple of minutes ago, so in a fit of rage I went around putting C4 in everyone's pocket that was in the vicinity and promptly blew those ass-goblins up, then casually mowed down everyone who started coming out of their shacks to see what the commotion was.
To make a great story short I didn't even end up getting the armor because that guy left the area and I could never find him again... but when I do, keep him in your prayers.

Generally I try to really be the good guy like this other time me and two homies hit up one of the rival faction's base and killed everything that moved, well except for the children because apparently even if they are Legion recruits you still can't kill the little bastards. But then someone has a shiny toy that I haven't seen and all hell breaks loose and I will murder everything in my path until it is mine, the Wasteland is a pretty dangerous place. Most of the time I have the self restraint to not murder people in their beds in games like these... most of the time.

Well I thought we would take a moment to remember those lost in the infamous Massacre of the Gauss Rifles.
In loving memory of...
Elder McNamara
Head Paladin Hardin
Head Scribe Taggart
Paladin Ramos

Paladin Sato
Senior Knight Lorenzo
Senior Scribe Schuler
Knight Torres
Scribe Ibsen
Apprentice Watkins
Initiate Stanton
...and many others lost to our memories.

war, war never changes

                                    toodlekittens

CONSPIRACY?! BLASPHEMY.

Hey everybody! Killinglights here with his own post (not a guest....) on such a (post) joyus day. As far as I'm concerned, it still feels like the 15th. Which means it (was) my birthday! Huzzah!

Anyways, everybody loves a good conspiracy theory. Especially those found in the vast world known as Pokémon. So, for this post, I will be discussing these theories.

First off, look at Clefairy. Now at Gengar. Now back at Clefairy. They’re shaped the same. (haha…old spice. Heh) Anyways, looking closely at Gengar and Clefairy, it is easy to tell that they look the same. You know, the same pointy ears, the humanoid shape. Why is that? Because Gengar is Clefairy's shadow. Obviously there are some differences, but its generally the same idea. Crazy, huh? Also, as Clefairy and Gengar are both normal and ghost types, respectively, they cannot attack each other.

Question. Do you think the designers screwed up the evolutions for a few well known Pokémon? I do. I think they fucked it up hard. And to be honest, I wish it wouldn’t have been the way it was. I wish they would have done it in the way that I think is correct. Anyways, lets get to the meat of this theory. Look at Caterpie, Metapod and Butterfree. Now look at Venonat and Venemoth. I don’t know about you guys, but when I look at them, I feel like those are wrong. I feel like it should bec Venomoth after Metapod, and Butterfree after Venonat. Look at their features. Butterfree has the purple, and the red eyes. Venomoth has the lighter purple, and the horn on his head. He has a similar structure to Metapod (that useless fuck. It’s only useful if it’s nicknamed Penis and it uses harden. Heh). Anyways, immaturity aside, some gamers believe this was a mistake.

Alrighty. You guys know that adorable little fella in mama Khangaskhan’s pouch? Yeah, that little adorable devil becomes Cubone when its mother dies. That’s right. This little Pokémon is so badass that he wears his mother’s head on his and fucks bitches up. Cubone straight up does not give a fuck. He’s badass. But when you look at the skull on his head, it looks strangely similar to that of Khangaskhan: long snout, pointy ears. Cubone is also a orphan Pokémon. This traumatic experience is probably why he is who he is. In short, he’s like the Batman of the Pokémon world. :D

Another question. Where’s your rivals Raticate? What happened to Blue’s Raticate? Oh wait, I remember. You fucking killed it. How? Remember a little boat by the name of the…S.S. Anne? Yeah. You remember battling him on board the boat? Yeah, it’s coming back now, isn’t it? If you correctly recall, he had a Raticate. He doesn’t have that anymore. Does he? Nope. You run into him in the Lavender Town tower where they lay Pokémon to rest. Your rival proclaims “Hey! What brings you here? Your Pokémon don’t look dead!” Because they’re…..OH SHIT. Yeah, you just made the connection, didn’t you? Yes. Amidst the chaos that was the S.S. Anne, your rival couldn’t get his Raticate to a Pokémon center. It died. And you killed it. How do you feel? Warm and fuzzy? You shouldn’t, you sick fuck. That’s why he’s chillen in Lavender town. To lay his beloved Pokémon to rest. Good job.

Here’s another tasty tidbit. How many middle aged men have you seen in the world of Pokémon? How many young trainers do you fight? Or elderly folks? Another question. Where’s your dad? Where’s your rival’s dad? Don’t give me that bullshit answer that your parents were divorced. No no. Fuck that. They’re dead. They’re pushing up daisies. They kicked the bucket. Why do I have such a blunt answer? There was a fucking war. Again, how many middle aged people do you battle? Very very few. There’s Lt. Surge. Yep. He’s middle aged. There are plenty of the little spitfuck toddlers roaming around. And there are the elderly too. But when you battle Lt. Surge, he mentions something about how his Raichu saved his ass. If it wasn’t for his Raichu, he’d be dead. The gym leaders were all fighting in a great war. Imagine a war. With Pokémon. Loads of them. Fighting. Scary shit. That is incredibly scary. Imagine a bunch of flying Charizards coming to rape your shit. Yeah, you’d freak out too. This is what caused the generation gap.

I don’t know about you, but I think this is plausible, and scary as hell. I also think its probably my favorite one too.

However, this does it for me for now. I’m sure there are plenty of other theories, but these are some of my favorites. …They were also located together on one convenient site, which I used some info from. Thus, I need to make sure I give them credit.

http://geek.pikimal.com/2011/04/12/the-craziest-pokmon-fan-theories/

Oh yeah. One last thing to leave you guys with. Look at Diglett’s mouth. Yeah, his mouth. Look at the white spot. Yep, it’s a tooth. You can no longer un-see this. Congratulations.

Until next time folks,

Killinglights

Hello everyone!

The GM here, hoping all you folks from the States had a fun Independence Day. In the time I had off, I re-downloaded Shivering Isles for ESIV and got that pesky Duke of Dementia achievement for 100% completion. I had already obtained said achievement on my previous xbox, but unfortunately my heat-sink committed suicide and took all of my achievements to the fiery depths of hell that is the red ring (*GASP* *DUNN DUNNNN DUNNNNN*) Anyway, happy with my 1000/1000 gamerscore for Oblivion I contemplated what would come next (prolly Morrowind via Morroblivion, but more on that later), and decided that I missed turn-based games such as KOTOR and Final Fantasy. Man I loved FF7! It is close to being my favorite game of all time (Legend of Zelda can suck it....(please don't kill me Darth)). I first played it when I was 11 and fell completely in love with it; I used to even draw pictures of Cloud, Sephiroth, and Red XIII. What I loved most about the game, besides the lovable characters and epic storyline, is the fighting system. After a pokemon-style 'run around until you have a random enemy encounter' brings you to the fight screen, the fun happens.

Battle music starts, and your party, as well as the enemy parties, are set up facing each other. Rather than a realtime, reflex-based, and quick-fight methodology, the game slows it down a little. You can control of each member of your party, and decide whether to cast spells, melee, or use items (or run...PANSIES! No seriously, running from fights just to save time is a terrible idea. You will be too low level when you advance in the story, and have to resort to WoW-style grind leveling). Summoning is also amazing. Watch a Youtube video of 'Knights of the Round' and see how epic the mini cut scenes are. I ALMOST FORGOT!!! Chocobo racing! Sorry, I got a little too excited.

Anyway, for those of you who don't know the pleasures of turn-based fighting, and its ability to let you think and strategize, you should pick up a copy of FF7, Knights of the Old Republic, or many others, and micro-manage the hell out of them.

-GIB

"The Quality Of Beer Is Shown In 1 Sip, But It's Better Just To Be Sure."

Hi all. Sorry about the long delay I’ve been quite the busy fellow with all this school work and all. (I’m still trying to dream of being a video game and roller coaster tester *sigh*) Anyhoo I’d like shift gears and begin a nice long discussion about one of my favorite vices outside of videogames. And that vice is beer. Now I’m sure that most of you out there have already discovered beer and know what it is you like and don’t like. But it’s ok because I’m only here to recommend to you some things to try. This past weekend I hit 5 breweries on the east side of Michigan. And I sampled quite the wide range of beers. One brewery I hit did mostly Belgian style beers while another one had terrible beers. And some of them had fantastic dining choices too! So I got nice and fat and happy this weekend. My 2 favorite places I hit was Woodward Avenue Brewery and I must say they had quite the porter. (Mmmmmmmm dark beers……) and the other place was Royal Oak Brewery and oh dear god was their beer good but their food made it even better! At Royal Oak I had another solid porter but the IPA I tried was quite good. Should you ever find yourself around the Detroit area I recommend you look up these breweries.

Moving on I’d also like to recommend other beers I’ve had before and I’ll keep giving updates at the end of each post I make as to what game I’m playing/ recommend, what beer I just tried and would recommend and also anything else I find relevant like movies and television. Ok onto the good stuff for those of you who take your beer seriously I’d recommend the Founder’s Pale Ale. It’s got the light malt but its dry hopped so you get a much stronger hops flavor which I love. Another great one I’ve been drooling over (and coincidentally got Toodlekittens hooked on) is the New Holland’s Dragon’s Milk. If you are a fan of the barrel aged whiskey then this is your beer. They age it in bourbon barrels for 1 and 2 years then mix them together and it is vanilla-y and great and not bitter in any way. It’s so unique and glorious. Finally for you lager fans/ dark beer fans I’d recommend the Victory Stormking. It is an Imperial Stout so it’s big but it’s got a light roasty flavor and strong hop profile and oh sweet baby jesus is it wonderful. It has everything I want all in one bottle.

Finally a few book keeping things for you loyal fans out there I did beat Dragon Age awhile back and am now playing it again (like an achievement whore) and I must say it certainly isn’t the same game twice. I love the unique character’s you not only build but recruit. More gripes came with it now that I’ve beaten it but hey nobody’s perfect. Also SUPER PUMPED for Skyrim in November. That date definitely can’t come fast enough. In fact I’m more excited for it than my 3 year anniversary with my girlfriend a week later….. (just don’t tell her please). I think that is all I have to spew at you good people for now. Oh and a little fun fact some of you may not know, Google voice search censors the word porn. Hilarious!

Until we meet in hell,

Darth Marth

BRAAAAIIINNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Hi guys! I'm Nerdicus Chubbicus here with a guest post for you guys!

Since I'll be back, I'll give a brief intro.

I'm killinglights and Darth Marth's little bro. I've been an avid gamer since kindergarten with my N64. aaawwww yyyeeaaahhhhh.

I love rpg's and more recently, fps's. And Pokémon. Lotttsss of Pokémon. I caught all 490 on Diamond. Suck it.

Favorite game? Ocarina of Time. I beat it in less than a week. :D

Anyways....

Everyone hates zombies. They eat your brains, and just won’t die. I hate zombies, too. I have wasted countless hours of my life perfecting the art of zombie-killing. …with a controller.

Ever since killinglights showed me the wonders of Black Ops, I have wanted to play that ‘mysterious’ third game mode, Zombies. Finally, we played Kino Der Toten one day, and I was hooked. It was up there on the awesome list with bacon and Magikarp (haters gonna hate).

The idea is that you defend yourself against countless waves of zombies. (Nazi zombies, as if they weren’t bad enough. Only way it could be worse is if they were gay, rapist, Nazi zombies. “I want your brains, and your penis”) You only have a meager M1911 pistol, a knife, and your wits. However, as you gain points from killing zombies, you can buy better weapons, such as the M16 assault rifle and the AK-74u submachine gun. You open up doors, and eventually reach the POWER. (Why is there no power?) After you do this, it gets REAL. You can open the Mystery Box, which gives you a random weapon (C’mon, Galil!) OR it flies off, leaving you screwed. You can buy perks, such as Jugger-nog, which gives you more health. And finally, and most fun, you can PACK-A-PUNCH!!!!!!!!! When you Pack-a-Punch, you deposit a gun into the machine, crack your knuckles, and get a new, more powerful version of the gun. What would you rather have, the FN FAL, or the EPC WN?

I enjoy Zombies, but boy is it frustrating. However, the tension is relieved by the dialogue from the characters, and the relaxing feeling of watching a zombies head/limb explode into tiny little bits. No more hailing Hitler for YOU! A personal favorite quote is, “He can’t fight now. He’s been… disarmed. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” (See why I love the characters?)

All in all, I would recommend Zombies to anyone good at CoD. It requires much skill, but everything in Blops does. (ahem veterancampaign ahem) but it is rewarding if you do it right. Now then- OH $^&*$%^&^ THE ZOMBIES ARE IN !#&@^&@%^ #%@^*^$&*@ GOD NO #^3$&%#$- (An average match.)

Don’t let the Gay Zombies eat your brains OR your penis,

Nerdicus Chubbicus

Nostalgia Theatre - Vol. III

Hey folks, sorry it's been so long since we've updated. Life gets busy....anyways, here is our latest post. Enjoy.

But, as my dear friend Toodlekittens said, this seems to be a popular theme at the moment. So, let it commence.

I’d like to talk about a more serious problem our nation faces. The problem is enslavement of animals, forcing them to fight until the other is knocked unconscious by the brute force of another. These poor creatures have done nothing wrong, yet we enslave them and keep them for our own sick, personal amusement. We never think about their well being, or how they feel about the way we treat them. They seemed to get along quite well before we came around and started hacking and slashing at trees to get to places we felt like going, riding our bikes through the grass trampling helpless creatures, while others attack in fear. We easily bat them aside as though they are nothing, and we praise our slaves, as they get stronger. For what gains?! So we can become the Pokémon Master of course.

As you may have gathered by now (I’d be really really really really scared and slightly saddened if you didn’t), I am talking about the one and only: Pokémon. More specifically I’m referring to the first generation of the games: Red, Blue and Yellow versions. Yes, I understand Pokémon is still going strong (look at the sales, Pokémon are the best selling games for the Nintendo DS.) I won’t lie. I am a proud owner of Pokémon’s Pearl, HeartGold and White Version. I’m still working on HeartGold. I love it. I beat Pearl all the way through, and I almost collected all of the Pokémon. w00t. But I started White version when I first got it, but I think I’ll just start over when I go back to it, since I was/am still involved with HeartGold and didn’t care or pay much attention to what I was doing. It’s harder with all these damn new Pokémon. Granted, some of them are really badass. lulz

However, I have to do a shout out to the original games. These two games, Red and Blue versions, paved the way for the special Yellow version, where the player got to control a pikachu! PIKACHU! Everybody loves Pikachu. I played Red version (countless times) and I liked picking up Pikachu from the Viridian Forest. It always took a billion years and 485,203,309,392,203 steps to find one, but holy crap was it worth it. See, if I had started with Bulbasaur or Squirtle, I wouldn’t have cared. But no, I picked the hardest starter to play the game with. The one and only starter for me, who remains my favorite to this day, Charmander. I mean, what’s not to love about the little guy? He was a fricken lizard that could breathe fire, and his tail was on fire. He was adorable. Besides, Charizard looks super epic anyways. …Not to mention the fact that he’s beefy as hell. You’ve got a Lapras? HA! I laugh at you! Using his superior speed and uber special (yeah…just special. None of this silly special attack and special defense. Special. Aww yeah.), I fire blast the shit out of you! Although it may have just relied upon his attack. I dunno. But it doesn’t matter. He was amazing. I remember my first Charizard. I got him up to level 72 (yeah, I know that’s weak. And he knew cut. But he was still amazing) and I traded him over to my brothers Silver Version, and he got him up to level 86. :D But his name was Zippo. He was awesome. Ah, the memories. I’m feeling slightly…nostalgic. Haha

However, happy memories aside, I will delve into the meat of this article. Gameplay.

When you really think about it, this game was a little morbid, disturbing and condoning cruelty of animals… Here, look at it this way. As I stated earlier, you’re a ten year old boy (or girl in later generations. Silly people, women can’t be pokemon masters…) running around enslaving these Pokémon in these tiny little balls and when the time comes, you unleash them to do your bidding and fight until yours or your opponents Pokémon is knocked unconscious. It’s brutal, violent, inhumane, barbaric, and incredibly addicting. I guess we thoroughly enjoy pitting these Pokémon against one another in epic duels.

But anyways, back to the game. You got to choose one of the three starters, Fire, Water or Grass. Then you travel from town to town finding new Pokémon, training them and seeing how you match up to the gym leaders of each town. The main goal was to get all the way to the Elite Four, and beat the champion, your rival, and be totally awesome. Poor Blue/Red (…your rival…the opposite color of your game...for the uneducated…heh)

But man on man, this brings me back to the good old days. The original 150 Pokémon were easily the greatest ones in existence, no contest. Generation II was pretty good too, but not as good as the first. They were so…original. …oddly enough. But I really enjoyed being able to clone my items using the missingno trick we’ve all come to know and love…and exploit. …shamelessly. A billion master balls? Okay! A billion ‘roids? Okay! Ahh…good times.

Like all good games, there has to be some conspiracy theories. However, I’m out of time, and will be sure to discuss these in my next post.

But anyways, enough rambling from me. Until next time, friends.

Pokémon nerds for life. *fist bump

Killinglights

iDios Mio! Es el Diablo...TWO!

Howdy all you MMORPGers, RPGers, and people with enough sense to appreciate a good game session. I was thinking about something the other day whilst working twelve hour days painting for some god-awful reason. I really miss playing Diablo II. The great thing about it, I always thought, was that if you were sick of the moronic internet population, you could play the story offline. It was pretty much the same experience... except you wouldn't walk into a shiny red portal labeled COW at level 2, try to see what was going on and get GANG RAPED by 243875097 Bipedal cows with halberds nonchalantly moo-moomoomoomoo-moo-ing as they liquify your face. Ahhhh good times!

I usually have two character saves on rpgs, because I like to switch back-and-fourth between a melt-you-face-mage and a smashy-smashy barbarian. On D2 I played almost exclusively as a necromancer. (That's right...I'M the one who needs those bodies, not you!). There is something so satisfying about raising a legion of skeletal pals to help you do your bidding. Throw in a bone wall here or there, a decent gemmed bow, and enjoy not getting decapitated by your foes. Boss fights are a little harder, however, and require many potions and TPs to narrowly escape death...but what's the fun of a game without risk and thrill?

Granted this game came out some ten-or-so years ago, and the graphics are a little lacking, but it is still in my rotation of games to replay. I mean come on, it's in the 2000 Guinness Book of World Records for the fastest selling game. Also, the Battle Chest version containing Diablo, D2, and the expansion: Lord of Destruction, is still available in stores with a $30 price tag; some games just never die...especially a decent fantasy mmorpg without a monthly subscription.

A side-note: This is not a chapter of the seemingly ever-popular nostalgia theatre rantings, but rather a 'why not?' post about something I've been turning over in my head for the past few days. I love a game that can take you back to a specific memory and bring comfort to you while you are crouching, contorting, and sweating for the 11th consecutive hour of a minimum-wage paint job. Gee Willikers, being AFK sucks!

-GIB

Do a Barrel Roll(Z or R Twice): Nostalgia Theatre Vol. 2

Who doesn't like Star Fox? I bet Darth Marth will say he doesn't like Star Fox just to spite me.

Anyways, Star Fox 64 was the very first game that I got for my Nintendo 64 way back in the day. It was also the first game I felt truly proud to have beat all the way through, come to think of it that was the very first game I ever beat. And that's an experience I would never trade it for anything in the world.

Star Fox 64 also helped set the stage for what type of games I would go on to play. I am a huge fan of cheesy game plots (I'm looking at you Call of Duty) and I also like totally predictable twists, sure I like the occasional wow factor from a game that does something completely unexpected (lulz penises), but the majority of the time I'm not really looking for novel storytelling.  (Shadow of the Colossus being a huge exception) I tend to like the repetitive and mundane for the most part, especially now that I have a shit-ton of games and don't really have much time to play in-depth games like Oblivion which has been sitting on my hard drive for like 2 years. So it's nice to just pick up a game where the only activity you are doing is mashing the 'fire' button.

This epic piece 64-bit of fried gold is one of my all time favorite games even if the voice acting was horrible and to some the controls a little clunky. I don't care I loved every minute of it. I especially loved the underwater level where you end up having to blow the monster clam of doom. Or the dog fights you find yourself in with your nemesis Star Wolf, who really isn't a bad guy just kind of confused. Or the infamous Landmaster levels, there are just so many good times to be had in that game that it's almost not even funny. And when you finish the main campaign you can plug in your four controllers and play with some friends. (That is assuming you have some.)

If I had this game I think I would play it again, but alas it has been sacrificed for the greater good I think I may try find myself another copy so I can relive the glory days. And if you have never played this game well then you suck and you should go play it right now. Oh well such is life, well I hope you have enjoyed another installment of Nostalgia Theatre.

Don't ever give up, my son.
                                         toodlekittens

Nostalgia Theatre

Hello and welcome to the first ever episode of Nostalgia Theatre! This series brings you back to the glory days of old school videogames and brings back those wonderful memories.Tonight's episode features none other than......

That's right! Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time!!

This game was and is probably my most favorite game that I have ever played. I know that's extreme to say but this game absolutely never gets old. I swear I have beaten this game myself and with my best friend more times than I can count. (Now on to the good stuff!)

What first gets me about this game is how the 3D graphics never get old. and that's just the tip of the iceberg on this whimsical adventure. This game is so popular that Nintendo keeps reproducing and tweaking this game and people are still eating it right up! (Suck on that Saw and Final Fantasy! Bitches). They made a "Master Quest" version for the people who got sick of it being too easy and are now releasing it for the 3DS making it even better looking. (Top that Friday the 13th reboots!)

Now for those of you that have no clue what I'm ranting about here's the low down, you start off as a unique boy who is tasked with stopping a big bad guy. (Cliché I know). Then you meet the wonderful princess and have to get the epic sword called, "The Master Sword" which is a staple in almost all the Zelda games. After you finally get it you realize 7 years have passed but you can return to the original time by returning the Master Sword (I know it's trippy). Then you must awaken the 7 sages to access the evil Ganondorf's castle, (also the staple bad guy in the series), and finally take him down. Along the way you are aided by a fairy, learn about your past and collect awesome useful items to aid you (which is really what the Zelda games always make you do to succeed. Bastards).

Next up the dungeons in the game are ALL phenomenal! I don't care what you say Water Temple haters that shit still rules! My personal favorite would have to be the Forest Temple. Not too easy and not too hard and the final boss is so helpful that its the perfect temple. (Or maybe that is possibly all of them... not sure). What really made this game playable was that you could beat it any any skill or age level. I originally beat it on the Nintendo 64 at age 9 and it got easier from there.

Now there are a few aspects of the game that irritated people as I'm sure most of you have seen on the internet before. (I know I have. [AND I LOVE THEM!!]) Your fairy "friend" is of course obnoxious and annoying but honestly it's very helpful your first time through and the targeting system would be worthless and you'd be dead. Next there's that little 'ol Water Temple thing. Honestly people?! Get over yourselves that temple was definitely not that hard. Plus it had the greatest mini boss ever! Yourself! You can't beat that. (EVER! AHHH!) Finally we get to that goddamn owl. Seriously, fuck that guy. You'd sit there and mash B to make the dialog go faster but then youd get to the end and B would make him start over! ARGH. AND it's not like he had very relevant information because he'd try to tell you where to go. (Bitch I do what I want!)

All-in-all this game is a must play and I don't care how old you are; you must beat it! If you haven't even played it then you are either mentally handicapped (I would NEVER say retarded on the internet. It's so retarded! Think of a better word!) or dead. Or homeless. Or an infant. But that shouldn't matter! Go play it! Seriously! Get off the internet, and go play Ocarina of Time!

You're still here? That's it! Leave! I told you to go play!

That's all folks!

Darth

Cloudkicker

Greetings everybody. I’m sorry I haven’t finished the second post for MoH yet. I had to take my Xbox home in order to focus on my finals. Yup, I’m just that lame. Sorry folks, scholarships are a little more important than Xbox. (Don’t get me wrong, I wish I could put videogames at the top of my list).

But today, I’m doing a different kind of post (*GASP* NO!). Instead of rambling about my favorite video games, I’m going to talk about a new band I discovered recently. In case you forgot, it is video games and other vices. Emphasis on the other vices part. Well, music is a vice of mine, and if you try to tell me it’s not a vice of yours, I will punch you in your dome and call you a liar.

Anyways, violent threats aside, I’d like to talk about the band I discovered. Ironically, it was a Facebook sidebar advertisement for a group by the name of Cloudkicker, and their newest release, Beacons. I liked the name of the band, so I visited the page. As it turns out, the group Cloudkicker, is really just a one man band. Literally. This guy’s name is Ben Sharp and he is from Columbus, Ohio. He does all of the mastering on his own computer, and other than using drum-programming software he plays all of the other instruments. Because he does all of this himself, he actually has the vast majority of his music available for free on his website. Some of his newer releases he is selling, but he just asks for donations to keep cranking out his albums.

He currently has out two full-length cd’s: The Discovery and Beacons. He has out three EP’s: The Map Is Not The Territory, Portmanteau, and A New Heavenly Body. These are all available on his website, posted below. I really urge you to check it out if you are interested in instrumental progressive metal.

The reason why he has three EP’s instead of a few albums is because: “I prefer putting out shorter releases more frequently. I get bored listening to an hour of instrumental music, and this way I always have something relatively new out.”

He mainly comes up with his music from noodling around on the guitar, which is actually surprisingly effective. Since I play the cello, I noodle around on it for fun, and I’ve come up with some pretty catchy melodies. But, since I don’t really care enough to put in the effort, I’ve never written them down.

A few suggestions for songs are: “Push It Way Up!” “It’s Bad, We’re Hit, Man, We Are Hit” “Avalanche” or “Everything Mirrors.” These are the good songs that I can remember, but I’ve been impressed with his work. But what this man is doing (for mostly free too, since he has a full-time job) is amazing. So, be sure to give him a chance.

You can check out his website here:

http://cloudkicker.bandcamp.com/

And the interview here:

http://www.theinevitablenose.com/2010/02/interview-cloudkicker/

Until next time friends,

Killinglights